Following my poor fertility results it was suggested that our best option to conceive would be through IVF.
A year ago we put our faith in science and headed to a clinic which was literally around the corner (Create Health in Wimbledon). Whilst certainly it was not my first choice of place to go on account of it's success rate it was very convenient to get to and I had to respect my partner's wishes.
Our first attempt was December 2010 during the Big Freeze. We were certainly please that the clinic was so local and generally everything went very well with the the procedure. That included multiple injections of hormones to stimulate multiple egg growth, egg collection, fertilisation (through ICSI) and at the end two fertilised eggs were transferred back (the other good ones were frozen). I would say our case was seen to be textbook- as guaranteed as IVF could be as everything went so well. Except it didn't. It failed just before Christmas which was heart beaking.
A year ago we put our faith in science and headed to a clinic which was literally around the corner (Create Health in Wimbledon). Whilst certainly it was not my first choice of place to go on account of it's success rate it was very convenient to get to and I had to respect my partner's wishes.
Our first attempt was December 2010 during the Big Freeze. We were certainly please that the clinic was so local and generally everything went very well with the the procedure. That included multiple injections of hormones to stimulate multiple egg growth, egg collection, fertilisation (through ICSI) and at the end two fertilised eggs were transferred back (the other good ones were frozen). I would say our case was seen to be textbook- as guaranteed as IVF could be as everything went so well. Except it didn't. It failed just before Christmas which was heart beaking.
Of course we were both devastated and couldn't understand what went wrong although I have always had my suspicion that the clinic was not actually that good. It took us several months to get over that trauma and we tried to live life as best we could, whilst embracing organic food. Come April we were ready to try again and this time two frozen embryos were implanted following a 'natural' ovulation cycle as opposed to one stimulated and controlled by drugs.
Once again we crossed our fingers and hoped for the best but the early signs were not good. The clinic failed to impress again and kept us in the dark about the fact our previous doctor had left their employment. More to the point we somehow managed to 'miss' ovulation as we could not get an ultrasound scan when we needed it. Apparently that was not that important as the frozen embryos could still be implanted, it's just a case of knowing how many days to leave after you thaw them out.
Other than the slight issue over timing and the fact that they found out my partner had a 'tipped' uterus whilst her legs were akimbo, the egg transfer went according to plan. The two week wait (2ww as it's known in fertility forums) passed by quickly this time as we both were not particularly optimistic of our chances as there were no obvious signs of success.
The time to test came and, as we expected, was negative. Whilst we were both upset we were prepared for bad news and tried not to think too much about the situation. We informed the clinic that it would not be necessary to have an official pregnancy test (where they draw blood) but they asked us to test one more time on the last day of the 2ww. It was Sunday morning and I can remember being half asleep as my partner burst through the door and shouted "you won't believe this- I'm pregnant!".
Amazed was an understatement. What a crazy situation- first a negative then a positive followed by a strong positive blood test at the clinic. Nobody could believe what had happened let alone us but there was a slight problem- my partner was still bleeding and as we were so helpfully told by a doctor at the clinic- that was not a could sign. Despite our concerns and contrary to the doctor's opinion we were assured that bleeding was quite normal in early pregnancy stages. Of course it wasn't and the situation became worse as the bleeding (and pain) increased and we knew that something was really wrong. Finally, one week after finding out we were pregnant we demanded an ultra sound which unfortunately showed an ectoptic pregnancy and that her tube had ruptured.
We rushed to hospital and we admitted to A&E and within hours were waiting for an operation. I sat there an watched my partner be wheeled away and had no idea if I would ever see her again and could not do anything to help. Time seemed to stand still and all I could think of was the events of the week and how we ended up in this situation. After what felt like an eternity finally she came back to me, oxygen mask on her face, IV in her arm and barely conscious. Despite everything that happened those were the worst moments of the day- to see her like that trying to smile yet in emotional shock and huge pain. I stayed as late as I could and returned the next day to collect her (this is the NHS after all) and come home.
She's a strong girl and after a few days began to recover, albeit slowly. I took time off to look after her as best I could but whilst the physical scars healed quickly the mental ones would take much, much longer. Despite our situation, IVF would never be an option again for my partner as she now considers it 'not natural' and argues it could have killed her.
Whilst I cannot disagree with her logic her decision has placed a great strain on our relationship as we would both love to have children. In her case the desire is so strong that she has given me an ultimatum that unless we have children in the near future, she will leave me.
How's that for putting pressure on someone? More to the point when I look back to when she said it in September, that was the beginning of all my problems.
Other than the slight issue over timing and the fact that they found out my partner had a 'tipped' uterus whilst her legs were akimbo, the egg transfer went according to plan. The two week wait (2ww as it's known in fertility forums) passed by quickly this time as we both were not particularly optimistic of our chances as there were no obvious signs of success.
The time to test came and, as we expected, was negative. Whilst we were both upset we were prepared for bad news and tried not to think too much about the situation. We informed the clinic that it would not be necessary to have an official pregnancy test (where they draw blood) but they asked us to test one more time on the last day of the 2ww. It was Sunday morning and I can remember being half asleep as my partner burst through the door and shouted "you won't believe this- I'm pregnant!".
Amazed was an understatement. What a crazy situation- first a negative then a positive followed by a strong positive blood test at the clinic. Nobody could believe what had happened let alone us but there was a slight problem- my partner was still bleeding and as we were so helpfully told by a doctor at the clinic- that was not a could sign. Despite our concerns and contrary to the doctor's opinion we were assured that bleeding was quite normal in early pregnancy stages. Of course it wasn't and the situation became worse as the bleeding (and pain) increased and we knew that something was really wrong. Finally, one week after finding out we were pregnant we demanded an ultra sound which unfortunately showed an ectoptic pregnancy and that her tube had ruptured.
We rushed to hospital and we admitted to A&E and within hours were waiting for an operation. I sat there an watched my partner be wheeled away and had no idea if I would ever see her again and could not do anything to help. Time seemed to stand still and all I could think of was the events of the week and how we ended up in this situation. After what felt like an eternity finally she came back to me, oxygen mask on her face, IV in her arm and barely conscious. Despite everything that happened those were the worst moments of the day- to see her like that trying to smile yet in emotional shock and huge pain. I stayed as late as I could and returned the next day to collect her (this is the NHS after all) and come home.
She's a strong girl and after a few days began to recover, albeit slowly. I took time off to look after her as best I could but whilst the physical scars healed quickly the mental ones would take much, much longer. Despite our situation, IVF would never be an option again for my partner as she now considers it 'not natural' and argues it could have killed her.
Whilst I cannot disagree with her logic her decision has placed a great strain on our relationship as we would both love to have children. In her case the desire is so strong that she has given me an ultimatum that unless we have children in the near future, she will leave me.
How's that for putting pressure on someone? More to the point when I look back to when she said it in September, that was the beginning of all my problems.
